| Plumbing: Or how i learned to stop worrying and ignore the dollop of plop. |
[Feb. 3rd, 2010|04:48 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Local H - All right (oh yeah) | ] |
Plumbers make a lot of money.
This is because plumbing is probably one of the single most disgusting things ever. Shit, fetid clogged pubic hair sinks. Just the thought of it. Egh. And some people shed horribly. I'm lucky enough to have one of those baltic sea not very hairy heritages. But gah.
Anyways, it was pretty disgusting. Like 2 weeks ago my dad haphazardly flushed a piece of a carpet cleaner down the toilet. So the toilet on my side of the house has been pretty much out of order since then. We finally get some replacement parts and a new wax seal so we can actually remove the toilet from the drain and pull the thing out. So i huff it over into the bath tub and turn it upside down, my dad fishes in a bendy tension arm grabber thing, shakes it around to try and get the piece lose and we flip the toilet back over. The following conversation takes place:
Dad: Do you see anything? Should be a little black piece.
Me: Yeah there's something in here that looks like a banana.
Dad: Yeah that's it, grab it!
Me: *reaches in and grabs it.* I don't think this is it.
Dad: I'm pretty sure that's just toilet paper.
Me: *look of horror on my face. I make a flicking motion with my wrists and the 2 week old toilet paper lands in the tub with a hearty plop.*
Of course that wasn't it. And of course once it dawns on me that i'm covered in feces my face would start to itch. And the water is turned off so i can't wash my hands.
"Keith my face itches. I can't scratch it."
"Keith i have a booger in my nose and it's bothering the shit out of me. I can't pick it."
In hind sight i of course should have used gloves, it wouldn't have mattered though since i had to reach up into the toilet anyways and fish the thing out with my fingers.
Suffice to say the toilet is fixed, and i have a new record of time spent washing my hands/arms.
---
My dad and i have a very strange relationship. We're two peas in a pod when we're actually working on stuff. But when we're around the house together we squabble.
It was cute though, on the way back from logging today he asked if i had found my playstation at the apartment (which i did) because he wanted to play dynasty warriors. Which is like the only game he ever played with me.
These past few days have been pretty okay. |
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| Everyone already knows i'm a pervert. |
[Jan. 14th, 2010|01:54 am] |
So my favorite thing to do after watching porn as sort of a wind down, is to read all the comments that are conveniently placed right under the videos. Sometimes you come across some charmers like this:
"A relaxed entertaining fuck with romatic music "
I just lol at these. This guy should write the one line synopsis's for IMDB. |
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| You probably don't give a shit. |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|09:41 pm] |
The OSL Starcraft finals are January 17th at 5pm Korean Standard Time.
That means Sometime mid week next week they're probably be commented by one of the 7 people i follow on youtube. It's going to be pretty sweet. I semi want to through a small get together if people are interested. Chances are we can just watch it lukes house after we do dark heresy.
I'm excited.
Edit: Here's a hype video for the two players. Flash Vs MOvie.
Shits going to be intense. |
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| Guilty gear, so much more than a video game. |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  AIR RECOVERY | ] |
I think at the exact moment when you start to feel better about something, some giant text should pop out that says
AIR RECOVERY!
Edit: I also lol'd seeing this on the front page of you tube |
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| No explanation needed. Just volunteers. |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|09:00 pm] |
The Emperor's Will:
Equal parts vodka and apple juice, shaken and chilled. Garnish with a chunk of fresh ginger.
Nurgle's Rot:
1 measure lime cordial, 1 measure Southern Comfort, 6 measures lemonade. Drizzle 1 measure Bailey's, do not stir.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD:
Very large bloody mary, no celery.
Prometheum:
Tequila and Habanero hot sauce
Monolith:
2 shots gin, 1 shot lime juice, 1 shot vermouth
The Inquisition:
10 oz. bourbon, 2 oz. orange juice, 2 oz. grenadine
The Bolter Bitch:
1 shot amaretto, 1 shot vodka, add cranberry juice to taste. Pour 1 shot cola on top.
Melta Bomb:
3 shots Midori Melon liquer, 1 shot DeKuyper Sour Apple, 1 shot rum, 1 shot sweet and sour
Slaaneshi Whore:
4 oz. fruit-flavored Schnapp's, 4 oz. Creme de Menthe, 4 oz. Sprite, 4 oz. Everclear.
Insert long-handled spoon.
Drizzle chocolate liquer.
Stir, forming spiral pattern, then remove spoon carefully.
Garnish with 1 sprig of mint (as perfect a specimen as possible).
The Hammerhead:
2 shots absinthe, 1 shot Creme de Menthe
Deep Strike:
2 shots Jagermeister, 2 shots cinnamon Schapps
Ulthwe's Tears:
1 measure Tia Maria, 1 measure Creme de Cacao, 1 shot espresso, topped with double cream
The Dreadnaught:
3 shots Jack Daniels, 1 shot sake, crushed mint and ginger ale.
Angry Eldar:
1 shot white rum, 1 shot triple sec, 1 shot gin, 1 shot gold tequila. Pour into iced Fresca. |
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| Just for reference note. |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|04:00 pm] |
I didn't bring up rapture. She did.
I think i'm going to purge facebook today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|01:30 am] |
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I love dating site ads. "THOUSANDS OF GIRLS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!" While this may be true in a sense, i don't think they count the millions of single guys on the internet. I wonder if the ads for women are different? "Hey single ladies! Millions of guys are waiting to gorilla fuck you into submission! Sign up now!" Then there would be a picture of a guido coping a feel on a passed out chick. |
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| /tg/ quotes for today |
[Jan. 3rd, 2010|06:27 pm] |
When you die, tell the gods who killed you! Tell the doorman to hell you were bested by Beru Bearfist!
who......? *Dies*
Bring him back, he didn't hear my name. BRING HIM BACK!
---
"Tell me guardsman, what did you feel when you ended that heretics existence?"
"Recoil."
---
... that's it i guess. /tg/ is kind of shitty today.
edit: Uno mas
"Hey I just came up with a new plan to make guns!"
"Yay, let's do it!"
"Oh wait, there are demons inside this gun!"
edit edit:
/tg/ your wife is a mermaid.
/tg/ response: There is a number of things wrong with this. One, i'm not married. Two, I'm not Japanese. Three, she's getting water all over the floor and making a mess.
"Glory to the dark gods!" |
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| 1sts so far |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|12:36 pm] |
First movie watched: Religulous
First drink drank: Smirnoff twisted apple
First thing ate: Homemade tamales and beef burritos.
So far so good. |
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| Past week regression. |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|01:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sean Hayes Politics | ] |
I had a bitchin' ear and lunch infection last week. I was pretty much grounded for a few days. I still have a bit of a cough left over but i'm more or less back to normal.
I got into a tiff with laura about seeing joey, things worked out though and i must say the night he slept over it was one of the best moods i've seen him in a while. He's been acting weird towards me lately, which is understandable, but he was full of loves and kisses when i saw him. It was refreshing.
Anthonys funeral was a bummer. Everyone seemed to be doing okay though which is really all that matters. I'm glad Mike's dad feels the same way we all do towards it. It's hard enough to lose a child, but it's worse to beat yourself up for it, and he's not doing it. So, good for them. They printed out the Eulogy thing i wrote and put it on Anthonys picture collage. I was embarrassed at first because i never really intended it to be a big thing, but, if people like it and find comfort from it, then cool, I'm glad someone enjoyed it.
Death reminds me to put things into perspective and how it's not important at all to hold onto grudges. It reminds me of all the dumb shit i like to fight about and how insignificant it really is. I think i've been doing okay on the whole "be nice to everybody" thing i'm trying to get back too. But it's important to remain humbled.
I've been suffering from a powerful loneliness lately. Some void that not even company, booze or porn can fill. It's a sad state of affairs when not even my vices can keep me at an even keel. I almost feel like i'm evaporating, becoming insubstantial, transparent, ghost-like even. I really need to do something with myself soon. My morale has been on empty for months now. I have a lot of hope for this new year. I don't think i can take another 2009 again. Bad day after bad day. Just wears me down after awhile.
Edit: I guess i should mention i was feeling incredibly manic yesterday and i couldn't place why. Then my mother reminded me it was my Biological Fathers birthday, Romeo Jr. Had he lived he would have been 48. At 24 i'm still amazed at how much his death affects me. It's something i could have did without. |
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| Should have been a nicer orphan. |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|02:43 pm] |
Did the pirates in peter pan actually exist? Neverland pretty much existed in the imagination of the orphans that lived there.
So in actuality the pirates were the representation of the parents that abandoned the orphans, whom the orphans constantly battled on a daily basis.
This is why i believe Neverland is an allegory for Hell. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|02:57 pm] |
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Funeral Arrangements for Anthony Guerriero are Monday 4-9 and Tuesday 1-9 at Voran's Funeral Home in Allen Park. And the funeral will be Wednesday morning at 10 at St. Mary's in Melvindale. |
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| Christmas eve thought |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|02:57 am] |
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Sometimes it's hard to look at people as humans, some are drawn to instead to see what someone stands for, and whether or not they agree or disagree. Those who choose to argue with the ego lose focus of what they were looking at in the first place. A person. Just like you and me. |
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| Anthony Guerriero |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|09:38 pm] |
Anthony was a lot of things to a lot of people. To most of us he was a friend, a brother, and a son. To some of us he was somebody you didn't want to lend money too. Anthony's life was anything but boring. He was incredibly fun loving and often the life of the party. Always eager to be physical, whether or not it was sports, camping, or terrorizing his brothers, even sometimes his father, he was always ready to go. Of course this was almost direct contrast to his laid back brothers, who were always eager for another game of smash brothers, or seeing what was new on adult swim. All families no matter how similar will always have their differences. It's just a product of being human. And in the end all that matters is that we love each other.
I've known the Guerriero's around 15 years. To some of us who didn't have a great home life, they were like the poster family of love and family tradition. I've been lucky enough to go on camp outs, road trips, sleep overs and family holidays. I always felt genuinely cared about and accepted.
Even with all of that It's hard to understand why Anthony made the decisions he made. From someone on the outside it's hard to understand that even the people you look up to have problems. Anthony did live a troubled life, and we won't be able to find out why. However it's not my place, nor anyone else, to cast judgment on the choices Anthony made. We've all been in terrible situations that have seemed hopeless, and not all of us are lucky enough to make it through those spiritual and personal dilemmas.
Anthony's death is as sudden as it is tragic. For me being a parent I can understand how it might feel when you lose a child. It's something that all parents fear most in life. It is unnatural and one of the most cruel things that can happen. Parents are never supposed to bury their children. So please, sympathize with Mr. and Mrs. G. One could never understand true unconditional love until you have a child. But take that child away and one will suffer true unconditional pain.
However it is here that we are to grieve, and share our love with Guerrieros in the hopes that we will be able to move forward. In these most bleak of times however we should remain vigilant for what little rays of light that will filter through. Hopefully some of us will grow closer together. Perhaps some of you will call your families and tell them you love them. Maybe some of us will be able to finally tell each other how we truly feel, without insecurities or embarrassment.
If there is something to be learned it's that life does end. It will always be sudden, and tragic, and hard. You have to remember that the deceased are finally at peace. It is us here, still on earth, that you have to worry about. It's okay to feel sadness and despair, but it's also okay to feel joyous and ever flowing with love. Anthony wouldn't want you to drag your feet on life. He would want you to go forward, and to take with you memory of him. He would want us to continue on, living, loving, and learning.
Anthony you will be missed
you will always be remembered. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|07:01 pm] |
Dear mom,
Quit getting shitfaced and inviting everyone at the bar to come over for christmas. We already have enough drunks in the family, we don't need extras. |
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| More organs means more human. |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|04:32 pm] |
I got into an argument with my mom on the way home from secretary of state about the organ donor registry. I signed up for it while i was down there and had asked her if she was part of the donor registry. She said no. I asked her why, she said "I need my organs for my own selfish needs." I asked to elaborate and she basically said she "might" need them when she goes to heaven.
Aren't you supposed to be raised physically whole when you transcend into heaven? You know, you're physical impurities are to be cleansed and you are to be perfect as defined by you? Wouldn't that count for donated organs? I couldn't see god getting pissy because you donated your organs, and now you'd have to live eternally in heaven with no digestive track, heart, liver, lungs, and eyes because you gave them away.
I don't understand where that mindset comes from. Configuring in the actualization that there is no afterlife, wouldn't you feel better knowing you could save some strangers life as opposed to the off chance you might need your organs in another dimension? Do you know anyone or a friend of a friend who could have benefited from an organ transplant?
I think minors and organ donors should be first on the list for receiving organs. If you're willing to give you should have higher priority. That's neither here nor there though.
So what i'm saying is, if you're not on the donor registry, sign up for it when you can. Next time you're at secretary of state for anything all you have to do is tell them you want to be an organ donor, they put a happy little heart sticker on your license, and you're done.
Whenever i get health insurance and can get a physical again i'm going to start donating blood at least once a month. |
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| Shit, only 5 years ago i was still making bad poetry. |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|03:14 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Grand Buffet - Oh my god you're weird | ] |
Dear Romeo,
You're old enough now to quit hating things you don't like. Teenagers will always be dumb, and that's okay. You were a dumb teenager too and it doesn't make you any better than them now that you're older. You're also old enough to stop being snarky about religion. It exists, most people love it, it's going to be around for a very long time. Most religious people you know are actually very nice and just want things to be okay. Just because they don't feel the same way about "big man in the sky" that you do, still doesn't make you more right. Also, stop using the phrase "big man in the sky", it makes you sound like a condescending jerk.
Stop trolling people. Yes you're great at it and you think it's hilarious, but come on now, quit being a dick. I know you're okay with people thinking you're a giant dickhead, but I know you'd rather be remembered at the very least for being kind.
Remember to keep doing that forgiveness thing you've been working on. I know you're capable of unconditional love, but you need to stop freaking out when bad things happen. Besides, you know you get over it in a few hours anyways.
Keep being honest. But try being honest only AFTER you've thought about it for awhile. It's okay to wait awhile when presented with a situation that requires you to open your mouth. Instead of going from tilt-a-whirl to level headed, just try to be as level headed as possible.
You've always been blessed with humor. Even while under arrest or at a funeral you were always coherent enough to make a funny observation. But remember, while you are self proclaimed "King of the Metaphor", it's better to be humorous AND intelligent. Much more is accomplished if people can laugh and learn all at once. We all know dick jokes are funny but we also know it's empty, and you're capable of being deep and jolly at the same time.
Brush you're teeth more. Eat more fruit, and do some push ups fatty. I know you're comfortable being you but you know you'd get significantly more ass if you just put the time in.
And in leaving, remember this:
"When life gives you lemons, you- BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
You're always going to be a nerd.
And that's okay. |
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