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2 months later [Aug. 1st, 2011|10:28 pm]
I Wish i didn't have a fuck buddy. It's not in my nature to have one, but i do.

I can't really feel bad though, since 100% of the time i'm shit faced when we consummate our relationship.

It pays to be uncaring sometimes.
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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2011|01:26 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

I made the giant mistake of putting my dick inside of crazy again.

I would seriously just love to date someone normal for once.

Outside of that giant clusterfuck that is forming right now i really love my job and wish it wasn't so temporary. I'm pretty excited to start school. And i'm actually interested in a few other girls that i'd like to date and be smitten with before finding out they are bat shit.

Also Joey is going to be 3 tomorrow. Holy shit. I have a 3 year old.

This seasons goals are to get him potty trained and maybe even get him to start reading. I've lost 10 pounds over 3 weeks, i'd like to lose 60 over summer. School school school. That's pretty much it.

Oh and stop sabotaging myself. You're perfectly fine with masturbation, stick with what you're good at. I'm swearing off christian girls i think.
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Donating blood: Or, How i learned to stop worrying and lose the pint. [May. 20th, 2011|11:54 pm]
[Tags|, , ]

Mang, what a crazy first few hours of my day.

I show up at school, go to the gym, sign in as a walk in. Say hi to ms. dekasian and explain i'm there to bleed for her. She tells me to cut in front of all the kids after i get to the first table. So i go past the first table and get my number but don't cut in front of the kids because i'd feel bad doing that considering they'd been waiting there for an hour and i showed up to work 2 hours early so no biggie.

The kids i sit next too keep asking me if i go to their school. I'm just shocked how many times it happens. No, you never noticed the 6' 300 pound kid with the 4 inch beard until just today? I tell them i'm in maintenance and they just ask me what class i teach so whatever. I get called back to do my interview.

Blood pressure is normal.
Iron is good.
Then she looks at me quizzically and asks my why my temp is at 99.4. I explain to her that i've been sitting in the hot ass gym for 2 hours sweating my ass off, plus my temp normally runs high, i'm not sick. Okay good.

On to the questions.
Lady: Have you ever been outside the US in the past 12 months?
Me: No
L: Have you ever been to Africa ever?
M: No
L: Have you ever dated someone from Africa ever?
M: No, but i've always wanted to date a black girl.
L: ...Really?
M: Yeah i just never got around to it.
L: I'm going to have to ask my husband about that.
M: What does he like black girls too?
L: He might. His father was a giant biggot who hated everyone.

So we kept talking. Eventually she asks me about my name.

L: So you're the 3rd?
M: Yeah.
L: Named after your father?
M: Yeop.
L: What happened to your dad?
M: He died when i was real young.
L: Oh that's said. How old were you.
M: About 3 i think.
L: So how'd he die?
M: Suicide
L: Oh. Do you know why he did it?
M: I dunno, i guess he really didn't like my mom?
L: My dad killed himself too because he thought he had cancer, but it might have also been because he was crazy.

The problem i have with these conversations is i don't like talking about it, i don't like brining it up, most people are cool with just me saying he died when i was real young. But she was pushing so i just gave it to her, turns out she's just a weirdy too.

So i pass.

I go and get on the cot. Older woman comes up.

Me: .... I'm 25
Ol: Oh well you look really young! You never know with kids now-a-days. We had one who was 6'5 in earlier today.

She complimented me on what "nice veins" i have. I told her it was a shame i wasn't a junkie. She was cool. My pint came out fine. She pointed me towards a juice and cookie table. I get to walking over there, some 14 year old kid who's probably no more than 120 pounds asks me if i need help getting over there. I stop, look at him, and ask him if it's him who needs help getting over there. It takes him a second but he understands i'm good.

Juice and cookie table.
I Sit at the edge of this table to what i thought was a passed out girl, a kid i was waiting in line with, and an arab girl who looks at me wide eyed and starts yelling at the kid who offered to walk me over to get me my juice and cookies. She askes me if i go here, i told her i work here. She says i don't look older than 18. I tell her i'm 25 and i graduated from here 8 years ago. Her friend that i thought was passed out pops up and looks at me wide eye'd.

The arab girl keeps asking me questions. What do i do, what am i doing now? what do i mean when i say that? She seemed extremely sheltered. She started asking me if i played sports. Kind of but not really. I did wrestling till i realized how gay it was wearing spandex and heaving sweating guys putting their armpits on you. And that i did football for awhile, until i realized i hated running, and all the coaches were douchebags. A small crowd has gathered and they're laughing the entire time. The arab girl tells me I'm a bad influence on kids. I told her i'm not supposed to be talking to kids, let alone within 500 feet of them. She clearly doesn't get the joke, everyone else does. I recognize her all of a sudden and ask her if she's the valedictorian of this year? She asks me how i know. I point out the giant picture of her in the adjacent hallway where the class rooms i clean out are.

After that they just made me talk about stuff. High school, life outside of high school. I basically told them that if they're doing something now that they don't like then just quit. High school really isn't a big deal once you get out of high school. I pressed that it was important to go to college because unless you come up with some whacky invention or idea that you can make money off of you're just going to be doing something you hate for the rest of your lives.

That was pretty much it. They were girls and they wanted to know about my love life. It was cute i guess. Times like that makes me wish that i had more of a drive to be a counselor or something. Because over 5 days of me working at the high school has went from
1. I'm kind of embarrassed to be here, i'll just duck my head into closets and get my work done
2. Hey, all of the teachers that i liked still know who i am and like me back.
3. Maybe i'll quit being so shy and just stick out more and say hi to the teachers.
4. Maybe i'll just trying and interact with the kids more, ask them about sports.
5. The valedictorian of the school is asking me what do i mean i keep saying i'm divorced but i wasn't really married, and then when i explain it, she gets. it.

There's also a new science teacher, Ms Vock? Whom i've ran into twice. Once during the band concert because she needed to get to her room and when i let her in she told me i was the nicest janitor ever. And then today, in passing, she walked passed me and told me i was the nicest person she had ever met and that i had great "energy" and wanted to give me a hug. So. I have no idea what's going on. Outside of me badly needing new shoes because of chronic lower back and hip pain. I'm really looking forward to the next 4 weeks.
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(no subject) [May. 13th, 2011|10:44 pm]

In the end i guess i'm just kind of speechless. I'm really unsure what to say. Joe was a man of incredible character. He had a weight about himself that would almost seem oppressive. But he was nice and kind and loved everybody. I honestly couldn't go about finding a better representative of man kind other than joe. He had all the qualities that you would want in a person.

I should start with a story. I remember once Joe was in a bad way, just dating a terrible cunt of a woman. I told him in order to deal with such a problem you should result to anger. He expressed to me that he had not ever felt anger before. So i pushed him, and i pushed him hard. Joe socked me in my face. It was bitter sweet. In that moment he had gained the confidence he needed to deal with his problems, but also in that moment i had tarnished him. Joe was a beautiful creature, and i had taught him how to be ugly. It was awful and i regret it to this day.

I can't express how amazing joe was. God himself would look down and think "man, that's a really cool guy." You could talk to him about anything. He always took the position of the "wise hermit" or the venerable old crow. He was always more than what he seemed. I think i'll miss his laugh the most. He had sort of a hehhhhhehehheheheheheheh kind of laugh. Always responding to the wacky shit i would say with a sort of reluctance. I guess he understood what it meant to be kind of weird and he had sort of a bond with me.

I just can't fucking believe it. "Joe's dead.", "Joe died today." I've said it over and over when i was calling people to let them know. What a terrible life we lead. I feel weird now, logging onto wow, to see joe's character grayed out. It's like he's haunting me via video game.

I'm just at a loss. I can't craft anything worthy of joe. He was just an awesome guy. The world got incredibly dark. Joe was always an eternal optimist. It was very comforting. I've always been kind of a doom and gloom type guy, and joe was always a refreshing outlook.
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emote [May. 1st, 2011|10:05 am]
[mood |stressedstressed]

Whenever i need a quick pick me up, i like to envision myself as a drunk socialite who duels other socialites for inane reasons and shoots them in the chest.

As opposed to be me being a drunk antisocialite who internet fights with other aspies and wants to shoot everyone in the face.

I have such a huge longing for chaos and humanlessness that i think it's starting to peak out beneath the cracks. And by starting i mean it's been happening for about 15 years.

Typically i would post this on facebook since that's the thing now-a-days, but there's girls i'm friends with that i want to sleep with and i don't want them know i'm a psychopath on the verge of outward revolution.

I think this just may turn into a inward record of me losing it.

I fear i'm turning into something that mirrors Patrick Bateman.
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Portal 2: The sequal review [Apr. 21st, 2011|08:18 pm]

Read more...Collapse )
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Steam stuff [Mar. 7th, 2011|07:29 pm]

I recently picked up these 3:

Magicka 10$: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magicka

I saw luke playing this at our friday game night. You basically get elements and can mix and match them in combinations up to 5 and it lets you cast different kinds of spells. Plus there are other spells you can collect (called magicks) that lets you do shit like teleport, MAKE IT RAIN, thunderstorm, summon death (who kills you sometimes) and the like. It's very tongue in cheek and you don't go more than 5 minutes or so without running into movie or game references. lord of the rings, star wars, warhammer, any nerd movie ever. It's good. It's up to 4 player online (which makes it eaiser and harder at the same time since you can't turn friendly fire off). It's fun and super difficult. If you have a decent comp and internet connection i recommend it.

There's also an expansion coming out in a few months that takes place during the vietnam war


Poker night at the inventory 5$:

It's a texas hold'em poker game staring maxx from sam and maxx, strong bad from homestarrunner, Heavy from TF2, and tycho from penny arcade. There's not much to say about it. If you like texas hold'em, and any of the characters listed, it's worth picking up. 5 bucks, can't beat it. Did i mention the tf2 unlocks? Awesome.


HomeFront $50:

You've probably heard me rant about this before. Basically N korea forms a Greater Korean Republic and attacks the US when our economy finally collapses. Basically an alternate history (granted in the future, THERE'S STILL TIME TO PREVENT IT!) first person shooter. I'm excited for a number of reasons: #1, you're not fighting russians any more. They've basically been the bad guys the past decade after people got sick of shooting arabs in genericistan. Really for no reason. This game models and actual tension build up instead of just going to war with generic county #A. #2 how customizable multiplayer is. instead of having no classes, or 4 classes, you can have up to an unlimited amount of loadouts that you can switch out on the fly. Wanna be generic guy? Be generic guy. Wanna be drone guy? be drone guy. Wanna be sneaky knifey guy? be sneaky kniefy guy. You earn currency based on how many doods you shoot, how many points you help take etc, and can spend them in real time (as in, you don't have to die or "suicide" just so you can grab a vehicle or different weapons.) Plus it has the experience over time system for the people who like to collect and unlock stuff.

which leads me to

Metro 2033 $0: Got this for free with pre order of homefront. I think it's going for $40 retail. Awesome.

It's a survival horror FPS based off the novel of the same name. Takes place in post nuclear Russia. Most of the population lives underground in the subways because the surface is shitty and has contaminated air. You're little town underground starts coming under attack by mutants and you're selected to venture out through the railways and above ground wastes to try and get your sister town to come help you guys out. Ammunition is limited, you have to used filtered masks when you're on the surface which run out quickly, and there is almost no HUD system. No map, no health bar. You get a compass rose that vaguely points you in the general direction and holes in your clips so you can see when you're about to run out of ammo. You also get a stop watch that you have to manually check to see when your filters for your mask are going to expire. Series gives you a sense of being lost, and under equipped. Did i mention that ammunition is the currency of the game? Better not shoot to much if you want to buy some more mask filters.

That's about it for awhile. My money now is going towards saving up for joey's birthday party, paying bills and getting out of debt, and building a new compy over the year. So yeah. If you're interested in any of these they are all on steam. Get on and game with me if you pick them up. I recommend magicka the most. Unless you're into FPS's then definitely homefront.
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i love /tg/ [Feb. 7th, 2011|02:25 am]

"Hey baby, you don't know until you try it.

I'm 5'7 240 pounds and I haven't showered in two months. My floor is made of pizza boxes and other old food containers and 2 litre soda bottles. I'm currently brushing some crumbs out of my pubes.

When do you wanna meet up?"

/b/ trying to troll /tg/ always fails.

This is the response btw. the OP was something like "I'm a girl (seem to be a lot on this board...) who's considering really attractive and this is a huge fetish for me.

I have no idea why, if I actually had sex with one of these brutes I would probably kill myself. But it's hot to see it happen to other people I guess."
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Why i hate America, Vol 2. Womens rights or: I'm more of a feminist than you are. [Feb. 6th, 2011|12:22 pm]
[Tags|, ]

I've recently gotten into the series "An Idiot Abroad" on the science channel. Created by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant of "The Office" fame. The premise of the show is they send one of their friends, Karl, a skeptic and someone who loathes to travel (aka me) to different countries to experience their culture and everything associated with that. Most of the entertainment is derived from Karl's general foul demeanor and him generally having a bad time. Through the hilarity though he says some very profound things.

Yesterday's episode was him going to Jordan, but he stopped in Israel first. He visited "the place Jesus Christ" was born. After the segment he mentioned on how people usually get teary eyed or cry over it, but then he said that the thing that people should be "having a tear over" was this giant concrete wall that separates Palestine from Israel that was no more than 250 feet away. Saying that, "that's the real reason we should be depressed."

Later in Jordan he was talking to a local he was staying with, they came in mid conversation but he was pretty much asking about what would happen if accidentally saw a woman without her shroud on (Hijab or something it's called). More or less he was worried about maybe catching her coming out of the bathroom or something (things that are normal and happen everyday). This was a general concern because he was worried about her getting stoned to death just because she might not of answered when he knocked on the bathroom door.

So today in the shower it dawned on me, how fucking awful it is that we live in a world where this exists. Not only do we live in a world where a place of religious importance is smack dab in the middle of a militarized zone, but a woman could be stoned to death because someone whose unfamiliar with their culture accidentally saw her without her shit on. Fuck that noise.

Then i started drawing parallels to Middle East now, and America, possibly a few years from now. With the GOP trying to redefine rape (basically saying that rape isn't rape anymore) what's the difference between these people and those that throw stones at women? I would consider both of these things incredibly heinous acts, but because of culture one's more acceptable than the other? To be frank, and incredibly mean, if you're a woman and a republican now i hope you get drugged up and raped constantly. And by raped constantly, i mean "made love to legally now with the redefine." I don't understand the people who elect these other people that try to pass these laws. We're not even on the same planet any more.

I think it boils down to general Americans being over privileged, selfish, narrow minded, and incredibly greedy. The general consensus is, if i don't like something, it shouldn't be legal. Abortion is a big one still thrown around today. Abortion is an awful thing. I remember when laura first told me she was pregnant, a few weeks later we had the abortion talk (for a lot of reasons, mainly we weren't together any more at the time), and i kept telling her it was up to her. As it should be. I personally, don't like abortion, at all. Medical reasons aside, i think it's an awful thing to go through. With someone who was pregnant with my child i couldn't be like, YEAH JUST GO GET AN ABORTION! With that said, what i like or dislike, doesn't really matter as it should be up to the individual to do whatever they want to their own body.

I just don't understand where this country is going any more. Ignorance piled on fear some how means you're American. Hating smart people (or 'book learners', if you will) is American. Shitting out babies you can't afford because big man in the sky will punish you if you don't is somehow American.

Womens rights, gay rights, seat belt laws, these are all things that are fucking up America. How are seat belt laws and womens rights the same? Because it's one concession after another. What people think is "good" or "how it should be" doesn't mean it should be turned into a law. Just because christians think it's a good idea to teach intelligent design in school doesn't mean it should be made a law. Just because homophobes think butt sex isn't fun doesn't mean it should be made into a law. Just because it's safer for me to wear a seat belt don't mean it should be made a law. Just because republicans think that it's okay to have sexual relations with a woman that you drugged into unconsciousness doesn't mean it should be made into a law.

Do you get it? Just because you think it's a good idea doesn't mean it's really fair for anyone else.
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real talk. [Feb. 3rd, 2011|11:40 pm]
I remember when i was broke and living paycheck to paycheck i had my own place, and a beautiful life partner and a budding child. Suddenly when anybody else does it it's the complete end of the world.
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