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sc2 account naming [Jan. 6th, 2011|02:51 pm]
if you're not on my facebook (why aren't you?) i'm doing this:

"Name my starcraft 2 contest reminder. Suggest a SC2 account name for me and we'll vote on it later tonight. Winner will receive a date with me. Where we'll have some beers and watch me play starcraft (unless otherwise noted.) So far we have: Bellytoss, drunkpanda, PukeandRally, and EmperorGosuToss."

Feel free to suggest a name here or +1 something here.
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Episode 4, a new hope? [Dec. 24th, 2010|12:55 am]
I met a girl tonight. She knows about starcraft, she likes anime, she thinks i'm funny, AND she's pretty gorgeous.

She told me to look her up on facebook which i'm hoping is the "now-a-days" version of giving me her phone number.

So i'm probably going to ask her out tomorrow. Well, at least schedule it for after the holidays.

I'm bracing myself for a let down but i genuinely feel good about it.

I'd post about this on facebook but i don't want to let on how desperate and lonely i am. Thank god for lj.
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2010|04:50 am]
Sometimes i feel like i'm going to be pulled apart by the chaos in my life. For some reason i always find myself between two extremes. And if i'm not at two extremes, i'm apathetic.

I watched "The Weatherman" tonight. I've watched it a few times and even own it, but it's always a very powerful movie for me.

The trailer really doesn't do it justice. If you don't like nick cage you'll still like this movie, it's not his typical flick. I'd say a large portion of this movie is inner monologue which i guess is why i like it so much. i spend the majority of my time up in my head having conversations with myself and it's really led me down a strange path. This movie is wonderful. If you're insecure and have daddy issues it will be an instant classic.

I feel like i'm constantly getting fucked in life. Like, i just got my license back and everything, got my car running, paying bills again. I go over lukes and i get a fucking parking ticket. How do you get parking tickets in michigan? I have never had a parking ticket in my entire life until now. I was parked on the street during trash day. I didn't really realize this, but i got up at 9 to move the car and already had a ticket. I fucking hate allen park cops. Seriously though, that's 40$ less i get to spend on joey for christmas because pig fucking allen park cops just drive the streets issuing citations at 6 in the morning. I can't catch a break.

I need a lobotomy or something, i really can't stand this place much longer. I need some peace of mind or some enlightenment or a good cry or something.
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My job sucks. [Dec. 19th, 2010|09:52 am]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Walking up to the break room i made a passing remark to a co-worker how awful it is that we get paid on christmas eve and that i have to find a bank that will be open to cash it so i can do my christmas shopping.

So we're at the breakroom for a few minutes. And some lady with other ladies in tow come up the stairs. Though i don't even know who this lady is, i just assume she's my boss:

Lady: Which one of you two made a comment about the checks?
*awkward stares*
Me: I mentioned that we're getting paid on friday. Christmas eve.
Lady: Yeah.
Me: All the banks are going to be closed.
lady: Uhhuh.
Me: It would be nice if we got paid on thursday.
lady: *goes into some indecipherable rant about something or another and names off a bunch of other white ladies i don't know but obviously this is serious business*
lady: So if you have a problem you should come to me and i'll try and figure it out.
Me: Okay well, i'd rather just complain about it.
lady: It's not okay to complain *goes into some other indecipherable rant about something.*
*awkward silence, i'm obviously supposed to apologize or something at this point.*
Me: So are we getting paid on thrusday then?
Lady: No...............i'm going to go check on that.

Me to coworker: I thought we were explicitly told to not talk about work while on break. (we were, during orientation, told that while on break or off the clock we're not allowed to talk about work, or actually work during break.)

Before all this happened we were talking to some employees who've been there for awhile about how massive the gap in respect is from the common worker to the seasonal slave. We're constantly getting ground into the floor over things that aren't in our control and we're constantly monitored and "encouraged". It's slave work, it's disrespectful, and this crazy bitch i never met before obviously really didn't give a shit about my needs but really just wanted to pontificate about how it's not okay to complain about work or something.

Can someone also please explain to the older ladies that it's possible to talk to someone AND work at the same time. My work is very brain deadening. I read a label, i open a box, i put the shit in the box on the shelf, i throw the box away. i can dedicate that all to the cerebellum and just cruise through my day leaving my frontal lobe free to converse with my other co workers so i don't go insane and feel oppressed by the corporate target family.

I was really hoping they were going to keep me after the season but now i can see my self getting fired right after the new year.
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I recently turned 25. A milestone some would say. Let's go over a few things. Inc wall of text [Dec. 7th, 2010|09:48 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |I should really start listening to music again]

You're only going to read this if you honestly care. Or have the free time. But if you do or don't, cheers!Collapse )
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for realz [Nov. 10th, 2010|01:30 am]
[Tags|, ]

I am honestly afraid and terrified that i might not be able to fall in love again.

The main reason for that being i never stopped loving laura. At this point it's almost irrational, but that's the thing, i don't think i'll ever be able to elevate myself to this high on the "i unconditionally love you" scale for another person.

Joey is nix though, i would turn myself inside out if he needed me too. I'm just speaking romantically.

I still love laura, even now. I would give her my organs if she needed them.
If she was ever captured by nazi's i would be the first person parachuting out of the plane into enemy territory. I have no idea how i can be MORE romantic then that.

I've tried, very hard to villainize her, change my mental picture, not to flirt. It doesn't help. At the end of the day i still want to wake up next to her, for the rest of my unnatural life. I want to marry her, i do.

I've told her, that the best decision i ever made for us was to not get married when she was pregnant. I didn't want to rush into something that was supposed to be the "right" thing to do. And i didn't want to take advantage of her being all hopped up on baby hormones. I wanted to be more mature and sure of myself. I wanted us to actually want to be together because we actually loved each other and not just because we had an oopsie baby together. I was doing the most noble and mature thing i could do in that situation. I did not want to fuck up our lives because we rushed into something that might have not worked out.

I put my foot in my mouth though. I should have gotten married? Would we be together now? I don't know. But i've had time to think things through, and i've had time enough to start getting used to wearing "man" pants. But it seems lost now.

She's dating this guy now, for 4 months, and she brought up marriage with him (to me) and i've basically flipped my shit. She's become this abhorrent caricature of herself. She's suddenly eager to be a housewife, to be submissive. She never wanted to be that. I loved laura because we were equals. We could depend on each other and we were both part of something, together. Now it's like, she just wants to be a typical girl. I didn't fall in love with the typical girl. I loathe the typical girl.

I loved the rebel, the loud one, the anti-status quo. She was proud to stand on her own two feet and she was happy to have someone who encouraged that. But i dunno.

I have this thought, or this hope, or this... desperation that maybe she's still in there. There's this girl deep inside her, the one who wore hoodies and watched dragonball Z and was proud to be different. She's being held captive by this... Stepford wife who wants to cling to this notion of normality.

We were sandi and soda pop
We were Frankenstein and Frankenstein's Creation
We were lovers

And i don't believe i'm going to be able to feel that way about someone else ever again.

I think my hearts broken.
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(no subject) [Oct. 21st, 2010|07:43 pm]
i'm on illadan now.

horde warlock still.

same real id, character name trepan
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I began [Oct. 21st, 2010|02:44 am]
Reinstalled and unfroze my WoW account for the first time in almost 2 1/2 years.

I'm playing horde on the FrostWolf server if you're interested in joining me. Character name Flashgit.

A lot has changed, to be frank. Soul shards have been reworked and i'm not sure if i like them or not. I miss my old super potent health stones, not these freebies that only give me like 80 health back.

I'm not sure how i feel about the talent trees yet either. Everyone i talk to likes them though, so it's probably just me stuck in my old warlocky ways. Things are good though. I got to level 12 tonight and logged when i hit the barrens because i know if i stay there i'm going to play through until i'm level 20. Oh, and you get mounts at 20 now. That's awesome. If it were up to me you'd get mounts at level 5. I really haaaaaate running from place to place. I just don't have the patience any more than i used too.

I'm still getting used to the UI stuff. And the first time i got an achievement i didn't know what the fuck was going on. It's really been that long since i played. I'm not sure if i'm going to stick around for cataclysm. I don't think i'm ready for that kind of commitment. But i can say for sure that right now i'm super burnt out on Shooters and RTS games. It's pretty much all i've played in 2 years. I'm sick of shooting guns or harvesting resources. So i think WoW is going to be a nice stroll for me.

If people are interested in playing i have no problems making an alt so they can catch up. I'm going to have all day tomorrow to play as well so i can see myself going to 20+ unhindered unless someone wants to roll on there. But if not, it's cool. I'd like to do some battlegrounds though; It's wear I shine.

Side note: My first day of work blew ass. The 2nd part of the day was better than the first part, i'm definitely going to keep looking for another job.
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The inevitable come back. [Oct. 19th, 2010|05:16 pm]
I'll probably be playing WoW again.

My friends and I tried getting into warhammer.
My friends and I tried getting into final fantasy XIV.
And we were seeming like we were going to get into Star Wars old republic, but apparently some EA/Mythic employee's came out saying that game development is going horribly.

I'm not entirely sure how i feel about getting back into it, but quite frankly, there's really no new releases coming out that i'm interested in. Starcraft 2 came out and that was pretty much the last game that was on my radar besides whatever MMO fancy was holding my attention at the time.

I'm not sure what server we're playing on.
I'm more than likely sure we're playing horde.
I'm 99% sure i'm being an undead warlock, because that's all i ever play.

If people want to play with me or whatever, just let me know and i'll make that information available.
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Conversations of the past 3 months [Oct. 18th, 2010|02:21 pm]
*me running around with joey in my arms*
Mom - What are you doing?
Me - Playing with joey.
Mom - Why do you keep yelling 'BRING US THE CHRIST CHILD' ?
Me - That's how this game is played.


*over the phone*
Laura - Every time i change joey he lifts up his shirt, pinches his nipples and says 'booooobies!'
Me - And you're calling me because you think i taught him that?
Laura - yes
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